Esther Moriarty, 10.01.2017

Honest dating: Online and in relationships

Honesty is the best policy. Although this may sound like a cliché, it is advice worth taking literally! When it comes to dating, honesty from the outset can really benefit your future relationship.

Honesty on your dating profile

You'll do yourself a big favour by being totally honest on your dating profile. If you don’t respond honestly to questions in the personality test, by exaggerating or pretending to be someone you are not, then our matchmaking system will not work as well as it could if you were honest. You could be matched with people who don’t suit you, so it is essential that you are completely honest with yourself when completing the test. Our personality test is designed to match you with singles who you are truly compatible with. Finding true love becomes easier the truer you are with yourself.

Another consequence of being dishonest on your dating profile may be that your potential partners will become discouraged when they discover that you have not been telling the truth. Its best avoid any white lies or little fibs even if you think they make you appear in a way you’d rather be. For example, don’t use an old picture of yourself that looks different to how you look today because your date will feel cheated. A problem will arise if you promise something that you are not. You don't want your date's first impression to be that you are not honest, which will give the relationship a bad start. So think carefully how to fill out your profile and answer the personality test.

Being yourself is not always easy - but it’s important!

We all learn in childhood that we shouldn’t lie and we are taught that we won’t get far in life by lying or deceiving others. But it is possible to be dishonest in a subconscious or subtle way. For example, some people create an impression that they are confident and relaxed in order to seem attractive to others. However, sometimes this is just a facade to hide their nervousness. It can be a disappointment to fall in love with someone who is seemingly self-confident and to discover that they are actually insecure and scared. It is easier to accept another’s weaknesses when they are not camouflaged and instead displayed with humility. It’s worthwhile, therefore, to always be yourself and allow yourself to be vulnerable. When you are honest with yourself and with others, disclosing who you really are, others with accept and love the real you.

READ MORE: 9 steps to get your dating confidence back

Honesty on a date

When you meet your date for the first time, it is best to be completely honest from the beginning. Especially if you are genuinely interested in your date. There are a number of mistakes you can make on a first date, and one of them is to say something that is not consistent with what you have written on your dating profile. You don’t want to confuse or disappoint your date. So why not tell the truth? Do you have something to hide? Be careful because you may scare off your date, even if it was just a minor thing you lied about.

To discover if you are well suited to your date and if you have good chemistry, it is important to truly be yourself. Apply the same strategy as you do on creating your dating profile; always present yourself as you really are, so you give your date a chance to fall in love with the true you and not someone you are attempting to be.

Honesty in relationships

Communication is the key when it comes to being honest in relationships. It is important to share your concerns with your partner, talking about problems and daring to discuss difficult issues and topics. It can be daunting to criticise your partner, but it is important to point out problems and talk about them openly – trying to avoid any quarrels! It is better to be honest and say something that is possibly hurtful then and there, in order to prevent more serious problems with your partner in the long term.

Many believe that dishonesty in a relationship is the same as adultery and can be for some a reason to end a relationship. If you want to nurture a sincere and respectful relationship, then being honest from the beginning and throughout is of upmost importance.

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