Esther Moriarty, 04.02.2016

Five familiar relationship problems and how to solve them

Our EliteSingles psychologist Salama Marine identifies five of the most common relationship problems and offers advice on how to fix them.

Even the most seemingly settled and happy couples will at some point need to deal with issues in their relationship. Whilst every couple is unique, often the relationship problems that couples tend to face are similar.

With help from EliteSingles psychologist Salama Marine, the list below outlines the reasons behind the most common of relationship problems and offers advice on how to solve them.

1. Trust issues

Lack or loss of trust between partners can often lead to the breakdown of a relationship. Without trust, the relationship is missing a sense of security. This could lead to damaging behaviour, such as building feelings of jealousy and possessiveness, not being reliable or supportive, or even emotional or physical infidelity.

If you are having similar issues in your relationship, Salama advises that, “it is necessary to step back and analyse the situation especially if a lack of trust is a recurring problem in the relationship. Ask yourself whether you’re viewing your relationship based on facts or whether other emotions are influencing your perception.”

READ MORE: Advice from Salama - Five steps to build trust in a relationship.

2. Different expectations

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”  (Mark Twain)

Often problems arise in a relationship when each partner has different expectations for their relationship in the long term, particularly in regards to their career and family desires.  

Salama recognises that, “in this situation it is important to focus on your own expectations and desires, while also being considerate of your partners. Often, one partner’s desires are being met while the others are forgotten and by the time the couple have realised this, the relationship breakdown is unfortunately inevitable. Avoid this by being clear in your own mind and subsequently with your partner about what you expect from the relationship.”

READ MORE: Find out how EliteSingles matches you with members with similar relationship expectations.

3. Changing circumstances

As a couple it can be difficult to move forward in life at the same pace. Couples rarely progress at the same speed in their careers, whilst one partner receives promotion after promotion the other may feel that their career is stagnating. Unfortunately, this can often be a cause of conflict. Additionally if one partner earns more than the other, this can lead to disagreements over spending.

If your relationship problems stem from a difficulty in adjusting to new circumstances and the changing balance of the relationship, Salama suggests, “making an effort to be inclusive of one another as you progress in your career and to be honest about your spending to avoid arguments over money.”

READ MORE: Is your career stopping your love life? How to balance love and success.

4. Poor communication

Ironically, as our methods of communication increase, the less people actually communicate. Yet the secret to a successful relationship lies in the quality of communication between the two partners. Effective communication isn’t merely talking daily and discussing the banalities of everyday life, but truly interacting with each other expressing your feelings, desires and fears. If either or both partners no longer make the effort to maintain an honest dialogue, the relationship will inevitably end.

Salama advises that although, “Individuals often restrain from being honest with their partner through fear of causing upset. The important thing to remember is that honesty tends to be well-received when it’s coming from a place of good intention. If you do have doubts or concerns about your relationship, create a calm environment where you can discuss them and your partner can open up in return.”

READ MORE: Want to find out how best to communicate with someone you have matches with EliteSingles? Read our tips on how to compose your first message.

5. Trying to change each other

At the start of a relationship, it is normal to notice small things about your new partner that you'd like to change, but wanting to change someone’s personality is a much deeper issue. Salama believes that this underlying conscious or subconscious desire to change your partner stems from wanting to maintain control in the relationship. Alternatively, it could arguably be a projection of an underlying desire to change oneself – it is of course easier to focus on changing your partner as opposed to yourself.

The next time you want to change an aspect of your partner’s personality, Salama advises to, “remind yourself what they were like at the beginning of your relationship. This will allow you to gain some perspective on the situation and perhaps enable you to remember this side of their personality that you once admired.”

All couples will at some point in their relationship face problems, but many are able to work through them strengthening their bond and becoming happier together over time. Salama’s advice is here to help you have a better understanding of how to avoid recurring relationship problems and to give you the means to overcome similar issues in your relationship.

READ MORE: If have struggled to fix your relationship problems, and still feel that your relationship has run its course, learn how to move on and start a new chapter in your life.

If you have any questions or solutions to familiar relationship problems then please comment below or email us at

About Salama Marine:
Salama Marine trained at the Paris College of Psychological Practitioners, and is now a registered Psychologist helping people with their interpersonal relationships in the realm of love, sex and marriage. She has worked extensively within the online dating industry, and provides consultation to those wishing to connect with like-minded partners online.

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