Online dating? Learn the first message dos and don’ts
There’s no doubt that, when it comes to online dating, first message success counts – but how can you make the most of it? To help make it easier, EliteSingles explored the dos and don’ts of the first approach, discovering everything you need to write a humdinger of a first message.
The four first message dos and don’ts
That first interaction is vital. Therefore, you want to break the ice in the right way. If you want to truly make an impression, you need to send an original first message. Here’s how to get it right.
1. DON’T copy paste your messages
Fans of Ctrl + C, listen up. The harsh truth is that your message recipients can tell what is a genuine attempt to say hello and what is a copy paste template sent out ad nauseam. To make the best impression when online dating, first messages thus need to be original: it’s about making the recipient feel special.
TRY THIS: You want to demonstrate you’ve read their profile so point out what it is you liked in the text. Share a passion for food or a love of literature? Let them know what you have in common and ask a few pertinent questions.
2. DO run a spell check before you hit send
Msgs wit por spelin r relly hard 2 reed. Baffled? The same goes for your message recipient. This is why a hard-to-read, misspelled message can only be bad news. The truth is, legibility goes a long way – a quick and easy read lets your intended spend less time deciphering your message and more time daydreaming about your first date!
TRY THIS: The quickest way to make your message easier to read is to avoid drastically shortening words – write ‘are’ instead of ‘r’ for instance. A quick spell check doesn’t hurt either – not using alot can get you a lot more attention!
3. DON’T be too forward in your messages
While a bit of profile flirting can be very endearing, there is an art to striking a balance between flattery and over-familiarity. A basic rule to follow is to avoid overtly physical compliments in your online dating first message as this can send the wrong signal – in fact, our members voted sexual innuendo as one of their biggest online dating no-nos!2
TRY THIS: To avoid being taken the wrong way, you are best off chatting about your compatible personalities – you may truly mean your compliments but, until you know each other better, it is safer to keep such flattery to yourself.