When to say I love you? Choosing the right moment to share your love for the first time
Some people believe in love at first sight. Others believe love takes time. Are you really in love or are you infatuated and swept away in the excitement? Should you blurt out "I love you" or should you wait a little longer? After all, shouldn’t you just say what you feel and let your emotions dictate your actions? In this article, our psychologist Salama Marine offers her advice on when it’s best to speak up and share your love for your partner.
Jumping the gun can push someone away
To be the first person in the relationship to say ‘I love you’ can feel like a big risk; such self-disclosure makes you more vulnerable and may put your partner in an uncomfortable situation, especially if his or her attitude is different from yours. Of course, saying ‘I love you’ shouldn’t have to follow a timeline or stick to social rules, but if you say it too soon, your partner may not have as deep romantic feelings as you yet. They might start to feel that the relationship is unbalanced emotionally and get cold feet. Despite the fact that love has a capacity to grow, saying ‘I love you’ prematurely may result in a break up.
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How soon is too soon to say ‘I love you’?
What is considered as a premature proclamation of love? In a recent survey, we asked our members when is best time to say ‘I love you’ for the first time to a new partner.1 The majority (49%) of the 5,300 survey respondents said 6 months was the ideal duration. In comparison, 9% would wait at least a year, whilst an eager 7% would drop the l-bomb after dating for just a week!
So, why is 6 months the optimum time to wait? Salama says, “if you say ‘I love you’ after a short period of time together, it could indicate that you are not seriously thinking about the meaning of the words or that the words are not that important to you. A true and deep love needs time to develop, so most people tend to be reasonable and wait a while before they say ‘I love you’.”
READ MORE: Learn how to express your feelings through actions as well as words – Become a body language expert