A Chat with EliteSingles’ Relationship Psychologist, Zoe Coetzee

One of EliteSingles’ main priorities is to give you the best chance to realize your dating goals. By working with a range of specialists and conducting our own research, we’re able to glean fresh insights into what it is that makes a relationship thrive. Zoe Coetzee, EliteSingles’ in-house relationship psychologist, is one of the experts we work with.

We sat down with her to get the scoop on how she arrived in the dating industry, why she enjoys supporting people find love, and how you can make a success of online dating.

Hi Zoe, can you tell us a little bit about your background?

Hi there, of course. Before becoming EliteSingles in-house relationship psychologist I received a post-graduate degree in Psychology in 2013. I then gained experience working in the field of interpersonal relationships for the last several years. I have approached relationships from a range of different perspectives – research, writing, consulting, and working in relationship management.

I’m interested in the dynamics that generate successful relationships, and I aim to support people in finding practical ways to improve their relationships and quality of life. Before studying psychology, I also obtained a honours degree in communications, and I’ve long been fascinated by the ways people communicate and the influence that these patterns have on interaction.

What does your role entail at EliteSingles?

I research relationship dynamics, advise on positive ways to develop good relationships and what we can learn from our negative relationships. I am influenced by the field of Positive Psychology, and often choose that approach to inform my approach. My work encompasses both writing articles and conducting unique studies about single life, online dating, and issues relevant to building relationships.

What drew you to work with EliteSingles?

EliteSingles focuses on serious relationships, an ideal that resonates with my field of interest. I was motivated to work in direct contact with people searching out meaningful relationships and support the wider circle of singles that one is exposed to in the world of online dating. At the end of the day, I want to help people succeed in living their best lives, finding love and creating happiness along the way!

Why online dating?

Moving into online dating has been a natural progression for me as the field is rapidly expanding and fast becoming one of the most popular contact and communication points in our society. Today, people also turn to the internet when they’re looking for dating advice. Being fascinated with human interaction, online dating feels like the epicentre of modern romance. Getting involved was an exciting opportunity, and logical next step for me.

One of the aspects I love about working in online dating is that it reaches out to a wide audience. It’s not just the 18-25 year old demographic, but actually, the 50 plus age group that is also rapidly growing. Supporting individuals who are hoping to fall in love for the first time – and those who are a little older and wiser – is an incredibly engaging position to be in. It’s amazing being able to offer such a wide scope of advice to people that are looking for it.

READ MORE: Looking for first date tips? Here are 10 first date tips that are actually useful

What’s your advice for someone looking to meet a partner online?

  1. Be authentic

It can be tempting to try gloss over your image online and create a perfect profile. But if you’re looking for lasting love and real relationships, your partner wants to meet the true you! So let your personality shine and put yourself out there.

  1. Define what’s important to you.

Sometimes people jump into dating head first and forget to think about what’s important to them in a relationship. Defining your relationship goals and values makes it easier to meet like-minded people who want the same kind of relationship as you do! Knowing where you want to go is a big leap forward in the direction of a long-term relationship.

  1. Be resilient and stay positive

Some people think that online dating is a quick fix – but the truth for any relationship remains the same with online dating or traditional dating. It takes time, effort and a little bit of magic to meet the love of your life. The first step to a healthy and happy relationship is a healthy and happy relationship with yourself. Do the work on yourself to feel secure, and then be prepared to put yourself out there with an open mind and positive outlook.

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