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What are the goals you want in your relationship? Recently the term ‘relationship goals’ has become something of a social media phenomenon. Suddenly everywhere you turn in the world of the internet, it’s lit up with some over-the-top, some sweet, some bizarre, some hysterical and some inflated ideas of what a couple should aim for in their relationship. But what should you dismiss amidst all the hype, and what are the real relationship goals you actually want in your life?
At its most basic, a relationship goal is an ideal, lesson, value or experience to aim for in your intimate partner relationship. Instead of being unattainable, it should be inspirational. Relationship goals are best viewed as a loose guideline on how to best give and receive love in your relationship, nothing more and nothing less. Just because you don’t have matching Bentleys, doesn’t mean you can’t be besties!
The relationship goals you want to create in your life focus on fact, not fantasy. Couples like John Legend and Chrissy Teigen have been immortalized in the media for their on-point couple goal imagery, but at the same time have gone on to show the fairytale image can also be a real love story. We break down real relationship goals to commit to, long-term relationship goals to build and, finally, our list of relationships goals for happiness, all neatly packaged together in these 28 ultimate couple goals for life.
The Best: Real relationship goals
1. Two, Not One
As a couple, becoming a single entity is an all too easy trap to fall into. All loved up, one can give up your own interest and pursuits, even social life. It is important in any relationship for each individual to maintain their own individuality and independence. Being together enough, you can feel comfortable enough to be apart, with two separate identities in the relationship.
2. In Sickness, and in Health
Sometimes things are better, and sometimes things are worse. Sometimes your relationship is well and sometimes it is challenged. Sometimes you’re personally in a good place, and sometimes you’re in a difficult place. In a relationship, to be able to take the good with the bad is a true sign of strength.
3. Lifelong Learning
Growing is good for you – good for you as an individual and good for you as a couple. A wonderful way to keep expanding and challenging each other in a positive way is to make a commitment to learning new skills and knowledge together. The relationship goal of lifelong learning keeps your intellect sharp and interests fresh!
4. Date Night Routine
One of the most beneficial real relationship goals to nurture is to make a date night and stick to it. Date night keeps your partner feeling like a lover, gives you a chance to give each other some extra attention and establish the relationship as a priority in everyday life. It’s about making time for each other, be that out and about or at home, set the time aside for each other.
5. Handle With Care
One of the ultimate couple goals is to really take care of each other. Put each other’s best interests high up in your decisions making factors. Think about how much space your partner needs, and find compromise. Handle each other’s heart space and emotions with respect and like your valued treasure, because what could be more precious?!
6. Actively Do Things for Each Other
The simplest relationship goal is: don’t take each other for granted! Go out of your way to actively and consciously do, little and big, deeds for each other.
7. Honest to Goodness
Real relationships are based on authentic people in everyday situations. The best version of you is the real version of you! Our relationship goals are to feel as comfortable in the no makeup, morning breath, sleepy face version of yourself as you do at any other time together.
8. Romance Never Goes out of Fashion
Sometimes clichés come in handy. And it doesn’t even need to cost you – do the simple things that will make you both feel loved up. Stargaze, wake up early and watch the sunrise holding hands, have a bubble bath at home. Bring each other breakfast in bed. Be romantic, it is worth the effort.
9. The Trust Test
If your partner left their phone within easy reach, and you were alone, would you snoop? Take a peek through their messages, calls or social media? Or are you secure in the reliability of your relationship? One of the fundamental real relationship goals is to have a solid foundation of trust that can stand the test of time.
Taking aim: Long-term relationship goals
10. In Love Lockdown
Developing a mutual sense of security is one to add to the books for long-term relationship goals. Yes, fair enough, in the early days it’s not so simple, but in the long run, you want to feel secure that your love is on lockdown. Like not feeling threatened by other close relationships or attractive people in your partner’s life.
11. Speaking your own Love Language
A high point in any relationship is knowing how your partner feels loved… and then being able to love them in that way. Creating ways of communicating which are unique to your relationship also fosters intimacy and connection. Having your own love language is a hallmark of long-term relationship goals!
12. The Family
When your families automatically include both of you in all the plans and just presume you will be there, you have made it! Part of the family, your couple status is solid!
13. In your own Bubble
In long-term relationship goals, creating your own world is one of the stepping stones to that magical place. It’s that intimate ‘only a couple themselves knows’ world – the words you use, the memories only you share, the personal details… As Keane sang, let’s go somewhere only we know.
14. Adventure Together
Adventuring together breathes fresh air into a relationship. Couples hitting all the relationship goals do new things together. You don’t have to go skydiving to adventure together, but then again, why not? Do new activities, go to novel places, even if it’s a coffee shop down the street you’ve been meaning to try. And if you can travel, travel as much and as far as you can together. Newness and spontaneity keep your love alive!
15. Spoil and Surprise Each Other Still
Sometimes do something so crazy and silly, the grand gesture leaves no doubt in your partner’s mind that they are loved. One way to remind your partner that you love them for real, for the long run, is just doing something for them that is ridiculous, over the top and that will leave you both a little breathless. Buy a giant teddy, order 300 flowers, blast a love song outside their window. Every once in a while, make your partner blush with attention and create a lifelong memory.
Connect when you communicate – listen, don’t just hear. Hitting the relationship goal high notes is about hearing the real message, not just the words, which are being communicated. Plug into the message below the words.
17. Financial Forecast
When it comes to money matters, be on the same page! Maybe it’s opening a joint bank account, planning to buy a house together or agreeing who’s responsible for which expenses in the house, but being in sync when it comes to your financial forecast is winning the long-term love game.
18. Lit Up
Keep your physical connection as healthy as your emotional one. After all, we are physical beings. Send a naughty text message in the day, write a sexy love letter, surprise your partner with candles and a massage… lighting the fire along with the friendship is the long-term relationship goals to aim for in 2018!
The list: relationship goals for happiness
19. Fight Fair
When creating a list, relationship goals for happiness must include learning how to handle conflict. Every couple will fight at some point. The couples who are winning know how to turn a fight into a communication exercise. Take a deep breath, de-escalate the situation by reaching out and telling your partner you want to hear them more than you need to be right. It will work miracles!
20. Laugh Out Loud
Don’t lose your ability to laugh with each other, and even at each other. Living life alongside another person is bound to land you in some pretty crazy moments. Tell silly jokes, humour each other – laughing together is the glue of happy relationships.
21. Flirt Forever After
It’s easy to stop flirting with each other. You don’t need to win affection or impress your partner once you’re in it for the long haul! Pull over and change that perception right now. Flirting keeps your relationship fun; make eyes, tease, have naughty nicknames, pretend to pick your partner up at a bar… use your personal knowledge to take it to expert level flirtation –you’ll both have more fun.
22. Future Orientated
As much as fun can give your relationship happiness a boost, planning towards long-term goals provides security and a sense of achievement that goes a long way toward contentment and accomplishment. It also gives the stamp of security that it’s not weird to make long-term plans and affirms that you both see a future together.
23. Be Besties
On the list, this relationship goal is simple: be best friends. At the end of the day, your partner is your person, they (hopefully) know you inside out and (probably) spend the most time with you above anyone else. As the famous quote says, “love is friendship set on fire”, so build the friendship to set on fire.
24. Hold Hands
Never stop holding hands. This one is also pretty simple. It brings you closer, re-establishes connection and is romantic, all in one. Make it a habit. Don’t stop. If you’re young or old, together short or long. Always hold hands. In bed, on the couch, in the street, in the park, at the shopping mall, under the table, in the cinema…
25. Be Kind
Be as generous as you can with your perception of your partner and what you choose to give in the relationship. Give them the benefit of the doubt, believe in the good and go the extra mile to be genuinely kind. Being kind is one of the simple but effective couple goals for a truly great kind of love.
26. Number One Spot
Prioritize your relationship. Prioritize your partner. Prioritize the moments that have meaning and make memories.
27. Team Us
Be in each other’s corner. You are teammates for life or plan to be. Talking each other up is on point for ultimate real relationship goals. Tell each other what makes you proud of each other, don’t bad mouth them to your friends or family and hold each other in positive regard as standard practice.
28. Safe Space
Last but not least, be a safe space for each other. At the end of the day, your partner should be your harbour from rough seas. A real relationship goal for long-term happiness is creating strong boundaries to protect your partner and your love. Have a no judgment zone, an honesty hideout to let it all fall down sometimes, and a trust that can withstand the best and worst of each other.
And there you have it – 28 relationship goals for happiness. The most important thing to know about the idea of having a list of relationship goals for happiness is that your list should be real for you. Relationships are not a checklist of dos and don’ts for lasting love. It’s not about creating the picture-perfect #relationshipgoals for Instagram, but rather creating your own goals based on what is important and true for you and your partner.