Find a better first date on EliteSingles
Making a great first impression
The notion that you never see a second chance for a first impression rings particularly true when you’re using a dating site. After lots of time spent sending messages and getting to know one another online, the first time you meet is bound to become a significant moment for you both. The first real test of relationship potential is bound to bring on feelings of nerves and excitement. First date ‘rules’ continue to be defined and redefined, but one thing should always be kept in mind: this is a test for both of you – remember not to stress too much and use the time to see if they’re as good a match as you thought they were online.
READ MORE: How to make your date night perfect
Introducing your real persona
What’s different about internet dating is, of course, that you’ve already made a first impression of sorts, and these tend to be well-formed (but not necessarily accurate) before you first arrange a date.
It’s easy to say that ensuring an honest profile is somewhat of a prerequisite for first date success, but it’s also true that the impression you put across online isn’t necessarily the complete ‘you’. One of the most important parts of the first date is therefore corroborating what your date liked of your online profile, and ensuring it’s reflective of your real self. You’re going on this date because they saw things about you they really like; let them know this wasn’t a misunderstanding when you first meet.
Using your body language
It’s not only what you say, but how you say it, that matters. Studies consistently show that a degree of self-confidence correlates strongly with being perceived as attractive and having success on your first date. It’s totally normal to be shy or reserved when you first meet, but this can be interpreted as your date that you’re lacking enthusiasm for the date. As Amy Cuddy has studied, it’s actually possible to give a boost our confidence through our standing or sitting in certain positions, so having the right body language when you meet may not only help them, but you.
READ MORE: The Top 10 first date questions you need to ask
Elsewhere it’s also been suggested that body language on a successful first date can be split into two periods, with a ‘vigilant non-verbal style’ during the date’s first moments – using small gestures, leaning backwards and slower speech to show you’re comfortable and relaxed, with an “eager non-verbal style” to follow.1 This second type of body language uses a more forward posture, while more a more animated speech can be used to convey that you are enjoying and are enthused by their company.
Revealing the EliteSingles ‘First Date’ survey
In 2013 we surveyed our members to see what they thought about the current state of dating in the UK.2
The results showed that singles still have fairly ‘traditional’ dating attitudes; with 76% of the men taking part telling us that they still wanted to be the one to ask for a date, and 83% expecting to pay for the whole evening.
Women appear even more in line with the ‘traditional’ mindset, though. 95% told us they expected to be invited out for a first date. With 1 in 4 men also waiting to be asked out, does this mean many dating opportunities are being missed?
We also asked our members about their go-to first date conversation topics. Both men and women are in consensus when it comes down to what to discuss, with everyone much more comfortable talking about common interests than heavy topics like religion, the economy or politics. In essence: keep the first date simple and keep the conversation on interests you share, places you’ve been, and so on.
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