The 70 Best Chat Up Lines Ever – The Ultimate List

man chatting up an attractive woman in a bar

Chat up lines – some people love them, some people hate them. But, there is something attractive about someone who can reel off a line, whether it’s silly or serious, with confidence. Which is why we’ve scoured the web for the best chat up lines ever and come up with the 70 you see below you. Remember, a chat up line can be a great icebreaker if delivered with humility and a sense of fun but can become offputting quick if you choose the wrong line. Like men, not all chat up lines are created equal, so be prepared for rejection if your aim doesn’t hit the target!

Funny Chat Up Lines

You might be guaranteed a laugh with these but not always a date, so use with caution. Not everybody has the same sense of humour, so we’ve picked 14 of the best funny chat up lines that will always bring a smile to a potential partners face.

There is something wrong with my phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.

I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’m searching for.

Have you been to the doctors lately? Cause I think you’re lacking some vitamin me.

Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?

Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?

Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Cause you look like a snack!

You are hotter than the bottom of my laptop.

I’m not actually this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet.

Are you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die.

Hi, I’m Mr Right, somebody said you were looking for me?

Excuse me, do you know how much a polar bear weighs? No? Me neither but it breaks the ice.

Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date?

Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.

woman and man laughing outside

Cheesy Chat Up Lines

Cheesy chat up lines definitely have their charm. Don’t underestimate the awful groan and smile that accompanies most of these lines, if anything it’s a great way to get chatting to someone. If you try any of these on a potential partner and it doesn’t land, pull it back with ‘sorry that was the worst chat up line ever’ and introduce yourself.

Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else.

Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?

There’s only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.

Hey, you’re pretty and I’m cute. Together we’d be Pretty Cute.

My buddies bet me that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the hottest person in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?

(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?

Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You’re making the other girls look bad.

Is there an airport nearby or is it my heart taking off?

Are you sure you’re not tired? You’ve been running through my mind all day.

Would you grab my arm, so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

Hello. Cupid called. He wants to tell you that he needs my heart back.

I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.

Good Chat Up Lines for Women

Unfortunately, although it’s the modern day people still think women can’t approach men – especially with a chat up line. Fight against this stereotype by picking one of the best chat up lines for women below. Nothing says ‘confidence’ than approaching a man at a bar or online – with a funny and intriguing opening line.

If you were a fruit you’d be a fineapple.

I’d say God Bless you, but it looks like he already did.

(steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what’s your name?

Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?

Hi, I’m writing a phone book, can I have your number?

Boy, if you were a vegetable you’d be acutecumber

Do I know you? ‘Cause you look a lot like my next boyfriend.

Hey. So when our friends ask us how we met, what are we going to tell them?

This is so us. Me doing all the talking. You sitting there looking all cute.

Hawaiian or pepperoni?

I don’t know who’d be more excited about us going on a date, me or my mom.

Did Ross and Rachel ever really break up?

Sunday priorities: exercise, sleep, or aggressive mimosas?

If it was your last day on earth, what would you eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

pretty woman laughing with women

Best Chat Up Lines Ever

This is it. The creme de la creme. The very best chat up lines that won’t have your prospective beau running for the hills. All of the lines below have that extra special something that makes them perfect for approaching someone new. Whether they laugh or cringe, all of these are foolproof classics that are quirky enough to grab their attention.

I seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

Feel my t-shirt, it’s made of boyfriend material.

If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to be your default browser, I’m brave enough to ask you out.

See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.

I’m sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.

I don’t suppose you know the number for Ordnance Survey… I want to tell them that I have discovered a sight of outstanding natural beauty.

I can’t find my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think that he went into this secluded, romantic area.

You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my chat up line.

Hi, my name is [your name], but you can call me tonight.

Hey, do you have a couple minutes for me to hit on you?

If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

I love you like an unspoken metaphor. That’s why I had to use a simile.

You: “Hey I have a question and need some advice”
Them: “Sure, what’s up?”
You: “Let’s say I see a really cute person, do I go up and talk to them or is that too direct?”
Them: “You should totally go talk to her!”
You: “Okay thanks. Hi I’m [Your Name]

Cringeworthy Chat Up Lines

We’ve saved the worst until last. None of these are ‘bad chat up lines’ in any sense, but they probably won’t elicit anything more than an awkward silence from your target. Only to be used by those with a tremendous amount of confidence or someone who likes living on the edge. Don’t say we didn’t warn you…

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven

[Pick up some cutlery] I’ve got all these knives and forks,all I need is a little spoon.

Hey, is that guy bothering you? No? Would you mind if I bothered you then?

[Pick up 20 limes and approach the person. Drop them all and then try to pick all them up and say] “Can you help me? I’m really bad at pick up limes”

You: “Hi, what’s your name?”
Them: “It’s Michelle”
You: “Oh, Michelle. That’s my wife’s name!”
You: “Well, that’s not totally true she’s not my wife yet”
You: “Actually, we just met”

If you were a phaser on “Star Trek”, you’d be set to stun.

Is your name Wally? Because someone like you is hard to find.

Are you a Wi-Fi hotspot? Because I feel a connection.

On a scale from 1 to 10, you’re a 9… and I’m the 1 you need.

Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.

I used to be able to recite the alphabet until we met—now I can’t get past ‘u’.

Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?

Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.

Not the chat up line type? Don’t worry, lots of people prefer to make sure their date is someone they have true compatibility with. Which is why EliteSingles is the best place for professional singles looking for chemistry that will last. Find out all about our matchmaking algorithm, personality test and why UK singles are finding love online by signing up today.

About the author: Emily Waddell

Emily Waddell is the UK Editor for EliteSingles.

See more articles written by Emily Waddell